we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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