Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Sacagawea was the original milf.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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