used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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