i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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