it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I got her a Nickelback box set.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize