Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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