The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
