right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
