what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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