This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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