Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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