my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
