I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
