She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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