When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I'm both gender and math confused
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
