I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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