this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize