just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
