Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize