Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
