I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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