Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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