All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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