Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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