whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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