I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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