Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
