ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
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