i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
