i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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