You're completely useless in the revolution.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
