garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
