Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
