Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
