I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
