I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
