I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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