Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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