What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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