Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
