His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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