I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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