They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
