Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
