Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
