i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
We don't watch enough power rangers
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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