puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
