I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Randomize