remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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