Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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