so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
it's great music for shaving your balls
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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