Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
