i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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