What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I've blown a few things in my day
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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