I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
