Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Everclear isn't food dammit
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize