Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize