North Korea, Best Korea!
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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