why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Randomize
