bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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