Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
